New Twitter Check Marks in a Rainbow of Colors
How about Orange? (Trump and Trump-related impersonators only.) Or Blue Sweater/Glasses? (For @georgesantosreallyIswear and @georgewashingsantos.)
February 27, 2023
A G.P.S. Route for My Anxiety, by Jesse Eisenberg
Dangerously CROSS THE STREET in the middle of the block to avoid the bodega where you embarrassed yourself last week by going in drunk.
February 20, 2023
We Come to This Place . . . for Toner Cartridges
A tour of some of the other places that Nicole Kidman wants us to come to.
February 6, 2023
What Does Writing Smell Like?
What kind of scented candle will help me face the blank page? Cotton? Piña colada? Oil-smeared rags?
January 30, 2023
Thank You for Your Reservation
Your party must be complete, emotionally, to be seated. No substitutions, no takeout containers, and food allergies be damned.
January 23, 2023
Life Is Too Short
Why not spend it mired in regret, eating defrosted turnip soup, or washing used ziplock bags?
January 16, 2023
Field Notes on the Infinite-Monkey Theorem
If you put monkeys in a room with typewriters, do you get Shakespeare? Or do they just drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, and listen to old jazz LPs?
January 9, 2023
And the Lord Said, “You’ve Got a Time-Out, Mister”
Was banishment from the Garden too tough a punishment for Adam and Eve? And other parental conundrums.
December 26, 2022
R.S.V.P. Regrets Generator for the Overscheduled
I’m sure you’ve been wondering why I couldn’t cancel my [SMALL WHITE LIE] to attend your special day.
December 19, 2022
Elon Musk and His Band of Free-Speech Tweeters
AngryWhiteMan, FeministMom, and JustMeCuzImEnough all have plenty to say about blue check marks and Hunter Biden’s laptop.
December 12, 2022