George Santos Quickly Removes Job at Wuhan Lab from Résumé
Speaking to reporters on Capitol Hill, Santos said that he had “no idea” how the Wuhan job wound up on his C.V.
February 27, 2023
Fox News Announces Acquisition of Kevin McCarthy
Rupert Murdoch said that he was “delighted” by the purchase of McCarthy and noted that Fox had snapped him up at an attractively low price.
February 23, 2023
Amy Coney Barrett Searches Bible for God’s Opinion of the Internet
“It doesn’t matter what we think about the Internet,” the Supreme Court Justice said. “What does God think about it?”
February 22, 2023
Tucker Carlson Fears That Leaked Texts of Him Telling Truth Will Kill His Brand
“Tucker is in a very dark place right now,” a Fox News colleague said. “To be unmasked as an honest person is literally his worst nightmare.”
February 17, 2023
Elon Musk to Seek Life on Mars and Keep It from Unionizing
The billionaire said that he would personally talk to the Martians and convince them that joining a union would be a mistake that they’ll regret.
February 14, 2023
Extraterrestrials Admit Responsibility for Unidentified Objects but Claim They Were Only Monitoring Weather
The revelation appeared in an official statement released to the American media by an organization calling itself the Intergalactic Command Force.
February 13, 2023
Pence Says Mother Will Not Give Him Permission to Testify
Mother, who is believed to be Pence’s wife, Karen, was “hopping mad” when he received a subpoena from the special counsel’s office.
February 10, 2023
Dick Cheney Offers to Shoot Down Future Balloons
“I haven’t touched my hunting rifle in a few years, but handling a gun is like riding a bicycle,” the former Vice-President said.
February 7, 2023
Elon Musk Seething with Envy Over Attention Balloon Is Getting
Musk disclosed that the sensation the Chinese spy balloon has created is making him consider becoming a balloon himself.
February 6, 2023
Kari Lake Furious That No One Has Searched Her Home for Stolen Documents
The former anchorwoman claimed that she has been calling for the F.B.I. to raid her house for weeks, but to no avail.
February 2, 2023
