Trump Produces Podiatrist’s Letter to Avoid Serving in Russian Army
The former President has been “living in terror” of receiving a draft notice from Vladimir Putin to serve with the Russian forces massing on the border of Ukraine.
February 7, 2022
Putin Says He Deserves Ukraine as Consolation for Losing White House
“Losing control of the most powerful nation on earth was a bitter pill for me to swallow,” the Russian President said.
February 2, 2022
Trump’s Claim of Winning Presidency Twice Disqualifies Him from Running Again, Experts Say
More than four hundred experts agreed that Trump’s declaration of two White House victories means that he has reached the Presidential term limit as defined by the Twenty-second Amendment.
January 31, 2022
Kavanaugh Fears Biden’s Supreme Court Pick Will “Hog the Keg”
“Breyer was cool, because whenever we had a party at the courthouse he was good for one Solo cup—two, tops,” Kavanaugh told reporters.
January 27, 2022
Millions Bummed that It Wasn’t Clarence Thomas
Americans revealed that their momentary elation was followed by deep disappointment when they learned that a jurist other than Thomas was departing the bench.
January 26, 2022
Biden Proves Mental Sharpness by Accurately Identifying Peter Doocy
“The President was faced with a cognitive test—‘Who is Peter Doocy?’—and he nailed it,” one observer said.
January 25, 2022
Parents Struggle to Explain to Children Who Sarah Palin Was
Harland Dorrinson, a pediatric psychologist, said that children may hear upsetting information about Palin at school and then seek reassurance from their parents.
January 24, 2022
Hillary Clinton Helpfully Suggests that Republicans Look at Trump’s E-mails
“Given how hard he tried to keep them from being released, those must be some e-mails,” the former Secretary of State said.
January 20, 2022
Trump Blasts Biden for Failing to Overthrow U.S. Government in His First Year
Trump claimed that Biden “hasn’t even come close” to leading an insurrection against the federal government, despite having had “many, many” opportunities to do so.
January 20, 2022
DeSantis Betting That Republicans Want a Stupider Version of Trump
“In the eyes of a lot of Republicans, Trump is basically Fauci now,” a source said.
January 18, 2022